Mixed day, just felt the need to blog about it. In reality a lot more positives than negatives. Actually probably only one negative. Im stressed about uni and all the work to come. Its kind of over riding everything at the moment. I can't be excited about something cause I have stress right at the front of my mind. It has to seep through a barrage of just im stressed im stressed im stressed thoughts. I wish I could get over it because anyone in uni is feeling the same pressures but I can't. I feel so physically exhausted, a good nights sleep doesn't do anything. I just feel tired when I wake up. I think I may go to like a naturopath or something. Maybe I'm not getting enough of some kind of vitamin.
Anyways, had an actual chat with someone today in the same course as me. Very very rare. As I tend not to associate with many people, not out of choice. Maybe subconciously. But yeah I haven't made any new friends within my classes apart from people I already knew. People don't seem to talk to me and I don't know how to approach them. But had a long talk with Sarah and it was truly inspiring. She is 2nd year jounalism as well and does so much work experience, goes to events, organises different clubs and wants to start her own publication of sorts. It's amazing really. She was very welcoming towards me and so I hope this can ignite some enthusiasm to go and do various projects. Looking forward to my feature article on refugee support in Brisbane. I have some great contacts through my neighbor Ann. Who is absolutly an inspiration in her own right also. She use to be in the UN council for refugees and works tirelessly for the cause. At the moment she's back at uni studying latin of all things. Latin. Crazy but wonderful. So I've had a bad start with this assignment, I am handing in a disgraceful rough copy tomorrow and don't expect to be marked well for it. But I went and visited many organisations today and have got interviews with them so hopefully my final submition will go as I dream. Really excited.
Anyways, had an actual chat with someone today in the same course as me. Very very rare. As I tend not to associate with many people, not out of choice. Maybe subconciously. But yeah I haven't made any new friends within my classes apart from people I already knew. People don't seem to talk to me and I don't know how to approach them. But had a long talk with Sarah and it was truly inspiring. She is 2nd year jounalism as well and does so much work experience, goes to events, organises different clubs and wants to start her own publication of sorts. It's amazing really. She was very welcoming towards me and so I hope this can ignite some enthusiasm to go and do various projects. Looking forward to my feature article on refugee support in Brisbane. I have some great contacts through my neighbor Ann. Who is absolutly an inspiration in her own right also. She use to be in the UN council for refugees and works tirelessly for the cause. At the moment she's back at uni studying latin of all things. Latin. Crazy but wonderful. So I've had a bad start with this assignment, I am handing in a disgraceful rough copy tomorrow and don't expect to be marked well for it. But I went and visited many organisations today and have got interviews with them so hopefully my final submition will go as I dream. Really excited.
I was sitting in the city mall today putting in assignment dates into my diary when this comical looking french man appears right in my face asking if I would like my portrait done for $10. In a beautifully thick French accent ofcourse. I didn't have any money, I wish I did, because I would've loved to have given it to him. He persisted and said "for you $5". Again didn't even have that. So he sat down right next to me. Plonked his large back packers pack on the ground and started chatting. I think it was a weird hybrid of French and English. Fren-glish perhaps. He was about 40 but had a youthful look about him which was very friendly. He told me he was a arts lecturer at a university in France for 20 years, then decided to sell everything he owned. House, car, all possessions. Nothing in France waiting for him. And embarked around the world. So far two years down. He showed me his passport to prove he had been to Indonesia after asking what my background was. He had stamps everywhere from places in all corners. I was so jealous. Between chatting he had me look after his bag as he went to charm some other people milling about. To no avail. He came back once complaining he doesn't like Australia. "There is no life, no action around. Everything is money money." So French. He thinks Australians are soo very British. Don't want to give him the time of day because of his scruffy minstrel appearance. He quickly added looking at me. "But you mix mix Australians different. Your parents raise you differently. You know." ... maybe I know. I bid him adieu. Wished him luck. He said "maybe I see you around again." Maybe. He's off to tahiti on Friday. What a way to live.
I've got such bad skin at the moment. Don't have a clue how to fix it. Started on the pill. Use tea tree oil. Take these herbal tablets. I eat very well. Try no chocolate, definitly never fast food. Its an annoyance. I don't know if it is stress related, hormonal or diet. Its annoying. Bleh. Such a vain issue, but none the less its a huge annoyance.
Just want to moove mooooove.
1 comment:
Hi again.
Thanks for your advice, she's fine by the way, and back home again. I know what you mean about not having to feel anything but I sort of feel...cheated when I don't experience this whole sort of anguish thing that people parade around from time to time.
lol, I know what you mean about the stress thing, as there are always those pressures that just keep poking at the back of your mind when really you wish they'd just shut the hell up and let you sleep. College exams are coming up soon and while a lot of these people are stressing out over them, I seem to have this eerily laid back idea where I won't panic until the night before, and afterwards won't really care that much.
I sort of know what you mean about not socialising with the others in your class, though whether this is a personality thing or has something to do with whatever aura they perceive around you is beyond me. There was no-one in my course that I'd known from before, so I was essentially drifting effortlessly for the first few weeks, and since I was never really the most sociable of people, I ended up alone for the first few weeks. More than that though, unless you're actively looking for friends, the whole process of "group-forming" can take place without you even noticing it.
Take any of your classes and I bet you could split them up into a number of cliques, which had been formed almost imperceptibly while you looked on in puzzlement. And once these groups are formed, aside from the odd conversation now and then, most of those people won't stray outside of their little group, because they are clinging to their contacts for dear life. As for myself, I was talking to an acquanitance in my class one lunch time and I suddenly realised that the other groups had become this sort of alien organisation to those of us that didn't really share their interests. Its sort of hard to explain how this hits you when you haven't noticed it happening, but there you are.
I'd advise you to go easy on the projects thing for now, and just pick one or two that really interest you, then devote yourself to those. If your friend is trying half as hard as you say she is, then she must have one ungodly drive to succeed, or at least to keep busy. You need to remember that no matter how hard you try, there will always be someone like that around, and all you can really do is find your niche and work from there.
Travelling around the world. It seems so glorious on the surface but I applaud anyone who can actually carry it off alone. For most of us, a decent cross coutnry trip with friends would suffice, but to actually drop everything and leave? That takes some courage. A bit like that guy who cut the cords of his parachute after jumping out of a plane really.
I can't really give advice on the skin thing. Maybe it's stress related, maybe not, but I tend to distrust all of these pills and tablets for such problems when soap and water twice a day can be just as effective. All I can say is that it will always be an annoyance because human beings need that to keep going.
Regards
Sureia
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